Rukhsana was discussing the matter of her job at the family dinner table. Her father said: "You should apply to 100 different places", Her mother "What have you planned, what are you going to do?".
As this was happening something must have sparked in her because she said "Let's bring this discussion down to earth and out of the clouds! Let me think this out with you, let us all be Rukhsana and let us think as if I had to get a job. Let me bounce my ideas against you."
Her mother said "Rukhsana i'm in a different field and don't think i'll understand"
Rukhsana: "I am sure you will, I will help you make sense of it"
Mother: "But it sounds like Greek!"
Rukhsana: "I know but I can translate it into something you can understand. It's all common sense and because you are a rational, professional person it will make sense to you too. Here me out..."
Mother: "ok...go ahead..."
Some conversation took place.
And then it hit Rukhsana that in all her 28 years she had never bounced 'important ideas that matter' with other people. All her conversations had been about un-important matters. Either they were about a movie, some book she had read, something about her job or people she knew, but nothing that reached too far.
What more she realized was that issues she was particularly sensitive about - her bottlenecks never ever came up in a conversation. There was no body she could bounce her ideas off! As she thought this she wondered what an amazing discovery this was.
A few minutes later, overwhelmed she got up and left as if to gather her thoughts. It occured to her that she must call her best friend, somebody she had been with since grade 6 and discuss this with her. She thought am 'I' the reason I never have a conversation, do I block people off or is everybody like that? She had to find out and so she went that same night to her friend.
In the company of her friend she slowly unraveled herself. She said "with none of my friends have I ever engaged in a conversation about 'my job; things that matter in life'. I think it's quite a discovery for me! And now I think there isin't any reason left for me to discuss petty things with others, not to teach them nor to learn from them something that hardly centers in my life!"
"I don't believe I never figured this out!"
"I am sure there are other people like me too. And for all those people I think they must feel so isolated living in a country full of people but having nobody to discuss their bottlenecks with. Even if they go to a psychologist they would talk for 50 mins and the doctor for the remaining 10 and that only once a week. Hardly any conversation I think! And then when so many people are around!"
"I know nothing is really tough in life and that's why I think if such people could move across their bottlenecks faster they would make such tremendous progress!"
"I know there are a lot of people out there who still have not figured this out. What a trance everybody is living in!"
"I thank God that I have atleast discovered this! Alhamdollilah! God is very kind to those who try!"
Her friend was a bit ambivalent. She didn't know what to say.
What would you have said to Rukhsana?
-Written by the author of this blog