We learn about the world as we get feedback from things within it such as from family, friends, mentors and even books.
Feedback can tell you where you went wrong and affirm what you do right. It can thus help you predict the future.
Interestingly there are people I have met who question the importance of feedback. They say: “I can figure out everything I need to on my own. I don’t need feedback like others do.” This is not true. In fact there is a big danger lurking in this notion.
If the world you are creating is your own you might get stuck in it or some part of it and not know what to do next.
If however, this world of yours and all parts of it are based on some feedback you will always know who to ask if you get stuck.
Somebody once said that "fundamentally we are here not to be seen, but to see" i.e. to see things outside of ourself. You will notice that all growth you have had has owed itself to some consistent feedback.
Suppose you wrote an essay. You wouldn't really know if it’s good or bad till somebody tells you the flaws in it or the strengths it has. In any case to improve your essay you will definitely need constructive feedback.
A similar example can be about basketball. If you want to improve your game you will need a coach. If he is good he will point out your weaknesses and strengths.
Thus it is very important to get as much ‘constructive feedback’ as you can.
Somehow all feedback is not good. Some people give contradictory messages when they give feedback i.e. one message will tell you an act is good and another message tells you the same act is bad. Avoid such people or at least don’t rely on what they say.
Thus feedback is a way to make sense of the real world.
Invest heavily in it. The more you invest the faster you will grow.
Feedback can tell you where you went wrong and affirm what you do right. It can thus help you predict the future.
Interestingly there are people I have met who question the importance of feedback. They say: “I can figure out everything I need to on my own. I don’t need feedback like others do.” This is not true. In fact there is a big danger lurking in this notion.
If the world you are creating is your own you might get stuck in it or some part of it and not know what to do next.
If however, this world of yours and all parts of it are based on some feedback you will always know who to ask if you get stuck.
Somebody once said that "fundamentally we are here not to be seen, but to see" i.e. to see things outside of ourself. You will notice that all growth you have had has owed itself to some consistent feedback.
Suppose you wrote an essay. You wouldn't really know if it’s good or bad till somebody tells you the flaws in it or the strengths it has. In any case to improve your essay you will definitely need constructive feedback.
A similar example can be about basketball. If you want to improve your game you will need a coach. If he is good he will point out your weaknesses and strengths.
Thus it is very important to get as much ‘constructive feedback’ as you can.
Somehow all feedback is not good. Some people give contradictory messages when they give feedback i.e. one message will tell you an act is good and another message tells you the same act is bad. Avoid such people or at least don’t rely on what they say.
Thus feedback is a way to make sense of the real world.
Invest heavily in it. The more you invest the faster you will grow.
The more we interact with others and get feedbacks our world view enhances, grows and develops. The nature encourages this element as it does not bring to life two individuals of same talents, strengths and weaknesses. So with interactions each one of us grows according to the interactional capacity that we allow.
ReplyDeleteA comment somebody made:
ReplyDeleteTwo things that I have learnt from my teacher:
- Getting feedback is to see yourself from the eyes of the other. We may have many things but certainly not the eyes of other!
- The other's reaction is a reflection of my intention!
YES to you both...this is why way across the world here am I getting back in touch with my deepest writer-poet soul.
ReplyDeleteShukran!
1. To truly become receptive to the 'other' a person needs to understand the significance of feedback. [This other can be anything in the world outside of yourself.]
ReplyDelete2. Somebody said: "Fundamentally we are here not to be seen, but to see".
@Connie: This is mutual.
ReplyDeleteTo your: Somebody said: "Fundamentally we are here not to be seen, but to see".
ReplyDeleteAnd St. Francis of Assissi said in his famous prayer in essence: Make me an instrument of Your Peace...grant me not so much to be understood as to understand.
I'd love to see you do a blogpost about self-esteem in light of other discussions taking place here on RR. (anytime, if you should choose to considder?)
ReplyDeleteSome see self-esteem as coming from the culture and history as central - while others focus on and find tools for personal health from universal principles, meditation, etc.
How might this issue be addressed this issue wholistically? You've covered some of this yet I'd like you to include culture & history and show how all dynamics fit together...IF you have the time & interest...no hurry...I'm sure you have many blogpost "ships" already waiting in the dock. :)
"...that we all may recover that lost self-esteem which is so much needed to build a peaceful future."
(Khurram Ali Shafique Sahib recently in a Comment under one of his posts.
Peace Needs Self-Esteem...How do we find it?
Connie, a pattern is becoming more apparent i.e. the more we struggle to gain some sort of aggrandizment the more we are fraught with the feeling of it's imminent loss.
ReplyDeleteI want money, but this money will get used and disappear.
At the same time, whenever I struggle for the 'other' there is a sense of gain in that struggle, say I fight for a cause for example.
This feeling of loss and gain is a pattern that is emerging in the problems I deal with in daily life.
Self-esteem cannot be based on anything that is fleeting, thus it cannot be based on aggrandizment.
As I understand when you serve the other the 'feedback' you get is the basis of all things good.
This might have something to do with self-esteem.
I am thinking of writing about this pattern and to read up on it. I might find a clearer answer.
ReplyDeleteI will be using material from
ReplyDeletehttp://www.zawiaebrahim.googlepages.com/audiomedia
You might find this interesting.
A note by somebody-
ReplyDelete-The Universe is giving feedback ALL the time. Everything that happens to you is feedback.
A feedback on the note-
-This feedback is in the form of patters that the universe exhibits.
Scientists have isolated some of these patterns as have mystics, the science of psychology and all body of knowledge.
A good habit would be to have our eyes and ears open and to to detect these patterns.
But I think it is better to just ask somebody who already knows.
When the Fakir acts impeccable, would feedback matter?
ReplyDeleteMy answer: Perhaps he would 'see' better, why it is impeccable
Connie, if I am able to isolate the patterns through which self-esteem comes about in a person, we will be able to use these same patterns in all contexts in the universe.
ReplyDeleteWe should easily be able to find how it works with Culture and History as well.
Interestingly I am sure of the many people who have ever lived SOMEBODY must have already done this! :)
Connie you might find something relevant to your search at:
ReplyDelete"Part 3 - The Postulates of the Thematic 'Growth'"
@Zawia URL above
It's on how a person reaches maturity.
Wow, the progression of your thought deserves to be kept carefully in a journal or file AS well as facebook. I'm suggesting from the many years of experience of not thinking my little bits and journals were worth organizing and now wish I had...
ReplyDeleteMeantime, there is another pattern I've noticed which maybe others here have as well:
That the very "calling", mission or natural role we find ourselves taking in life challenges us more than most...perhaps to nudge or in some cases force us to learn the deep lessons required?
For example to be personal my deepest wish is to seek and nurture peace through truth as well as understanding and love. So therefore all of these are continually tested inside and out...in my ventures into public and my "hurdles" with family sometimes including others nearby.
So I am everyday seeing the absolutely essential requirement of prayer and dialogues/reflections such as you suggest here.
Soon after end of Ramzan I intend to look up all your posts again and the references you have given.
Shukiyra!
And IF I'm not back until after end of Ramzan, Eid Mubarak joys -inshallah to all who celebrate the coming feast and festivities!
It's always great interacting with you Connie. Adds a little pulse to the blog! :)
ReplyDeleteA recent thought on our mutual journey:
-The journey is not about understanding the meta-narrative but DOING WELL IN the journey. It takes so long to understand the most basic things. But it is most important to know the meta-narrative so you at least know what you are supposed to do - which is just to LIVE - enjoy the struggle, reconcile contradictions, contribute and have a great time [while you're here]!
Thank you! I hope you enjoy yourself too and may we all return in our understanding to the truth of the matter. :)
Your last comment is a perfect ending to this fertile progression and dialogue on your site. So I hesitate to respond - yet I want to say that I recognize your summary here has everything to do with what I am seeing in the Yusef story - learning here from all of you here - and also cuts through the feelings of being overwhelmed at all the lessons we face each and every day. I'd love to look up the postulates you mentioned but they don't come up easily. No hurry. A festive, joyous and satisfying season to you and yours and all other readers of this blog.
ReplyDelete"Thus feedback is a way to make sense of the real world."
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this line. And I absolutely agree. Feedback is the basis of all things. Let's use it and give it wisely.
Thanks for the great tips.
Sonia Di Maulo, Feedback Enthusiast
www.readytofeedback.com
I agree with you.Feedback is very important,it guides us to follow the right path.
ReplyDeleteI always wonder about myself,I ask the question,will someone tell me how I have done?
When we are in school,our teachers give us the feedback.In the real world we depend on others,we pray and hope that the message will be positive.
Thank you,for this.
Chaman Asgar