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Principles of socializing

Socializing is a process where one meets people from different strata of society and from different societies. It is based on communication i.e. one needs to articulate the ideas one has in their mind so that the other person who is the subject of communication understands these ideas as is. This communication is about reality where the topics can range from concrete to abstract, as follows: small-talk, job, family, friends circle, movies and music, a profession, politics, motivation and self-actualization, art and meta-thinking.

However, people have different notions of reality some have wrong models and some have models that are closer to reality. The objective of the socializing process is to understand the other person i.e. his ideas and distinguish between what is correct i.e. closer to reality and what is wrong i.e. far from reality. Once this difference is clear one should articulate this difference. If one does not have this ability then one should develop the tact of keeping ones distance from the subject in the matter of the particular discussion or listen to him to understand about the ideas if the discussing is not abusive. If one feels pushed one can stop the discussion and think about it later. In any case the end objective is to understand the ideas and thus be able to ascertain their degree of truth.

In any case it is important to learn to recognize a dead-end discussion i.e. a circular debate and stop debating if a dead-end is reached in the discussion.

The below text has been added on 19 Feb 2009

One important aspect of socializing that has to be mentioned is that when one is interacting with a person who does not have a realistic view of the topic being discussed it might be a good idea not to make it blatantly apparent to him/her and to use tact to address the person.

It may also be the case that the person being addressed is not ready to listen to the new persepctive in which case it might be a very good idea to not pursue the discussion. What this means for me is that I should, in such situations, try to 'empathize' with the 'other' and just enjoy his/her 'company' while possibly trying to understand him/her better.

This has for me led to another kind of social experience that is very interesting where 'reality' is not being discussed, just enjoyed!

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