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How can we fall in love and not end up like Dracula

I have written a post about Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Read it here. The point I mentioned there was that while lust is always destructive, love is also capable of being destructive. In fact Dracula was a victim of this destruction when he lost his beloved. He damned himself and hurt countless other people because he was not capable of handling his loss.

While this is fiction, a parallel of this can be found in the real world as well. People who grieve after their loss or are compelled to do bad because of the one’s they love while the one's they love are still alive.

So the question then is: “Isn’t love possible in its purest form, in a form in which it is not capable of being destructive?”

And the answer to that question is that such a love is possible. Sufis call it (in urdu) “Ishq e Haqiqi” which I think translates into “real love”.

Now as an example when a mother loves her child, she loves him because it is “her” child. In a certain sense she may be called selfish in this.

On the other hand God loves people and among men Gandhi loved his people. Gandhi out of his love for the people gave immense sacrifices for them. While he was a lawyer by profession he chose to fight for the people of India giving up his worldly comforts. As one example he chose to wear only the simplest clothes that he stitched himself. He often went on a hunger strike for a number of days to symbollicaly convey to the people who loved him how serious he was about his protest. Gandhi is known today for his method of 'peaceful protest' and his highly respected in India and the world over. He chose to live simply, like the (poor) people, and spent a life time fighting for them.

Such a love is also possible.

Now the difference between a mother who may only love her child and Gandhi is I think “enlightenment” or what in urdu is “Shaoor”.

So the more you make sense of the world and adopt values that enable you to understand good and be good the more you evolve and the more you understand what the Sufis call “Ishq e Haqiqi”.

If a mother is able to do that then the love she has for her child is going to be part of the “Ishq e Haqiqi” that she has and she will love others too with the due that they have.

So if a person learns this and then falls into a romantic relationship with a woman he will love her passionately and not be consumed by it.

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